Working Out & The ROAR from Within

Workouts are different now than 10 years ago… 

Not better, not perfect, not “right”… just different… 

This observation occurred to me recently in a moment of curiosity & presence… 

I began noticing a pattern. 

Several weeks ago, when I was working out in my basement, I began to CRY… 

I thought something was wrong with me… Am I okay? Is this another panic attack? Why am I sad? What am I feeling?… this is just a snippet of the questions that were flooding my brain. 

The first time it happened… I just shrugged off the tears… ignored them… continued my workout… and then moved on.

And then it happened again… and again… and again. 

It didn’t matter what type of workout I was doing… during all of them… mid workout… this sensation of pressure growing inside of my chest would expand and flow straight through my limbs and come out as tears… 

PAUSE - Lets rewind to my workouts from 10-12 years ago… 

I was more than just an avid exerciser. I didn’t miss a day... ever. Sweating was strong! Routine and schedule was everything! Crying... well that was for the weak...

I can honestly say now… looking back… that I exercised purely for the external, physical benefits. I was always comparing my physique to others, in a competitive and egotistical way. If I could just be fitter, skinnier, and better than others around me… then I would be “good enough.” As you can probably guess, my coping mechanism of choice has always been control… and exercise was just another way for me to feel stable & secure in our crazy world. 

BACK to 2024: These types of workouts from the past, this mindset, this coping mechanism is no longer serving me… And it probably wasn’t then either… but right now, I have the time, space, and stability necessary to grow…

I truly believe that the emotions I experience when working out is how my body and mind connect. In that moment I am completing the stress cycle. I am fully present and embodied. The pressure growing and expanding from within can be described as nothing other than a great and mighty ROAR! In this moment I feel the powerful inner strength of a woman breaking free from the pain this world causes not only to her, but also those before her and the generations to come. 

I am so in love with my workouts now. I am in love with myself in these moments, which allows me to love those around me better as well. I truly believe movement is medicine… not just for the physical body, but for the mind and the soul! 

So… the next time and any time I workout… I will ROAR!! 

- ARISE my loves, because you are worthy of another day-